Fears

When I was a child I was scared of thunderstorms. So was my dog. We used to huddle up in the hallway of my parent's house and wait out until the worst of the lightning and thunder was gone. As a teenager I worked at a girl's camp in the middle of the woods. Needless to say there were plenty of thunderstorms that raged through those mountains and I got really good at putting on a brave face for the girls. So everyone assumes I am no longer afraid of thunderstorms, that instead I just don't like them. Well I am here to confirm that my heart skips a beat every time I see a flash of lightning and the sound of rolling thunder causes my stomach to knot. Since we moved out into the woods ourselves and into a house that is 150 years old I have tried to pacify my fears by assuring myself that the present storm cannot possibly be the worst storm this house has ever seen so of course it will still be standing after the storm is over.

I know some of you think I am crazy. My own husband loves storms and would love nothing more than to open all the blinds and watch the lightning and pouring rain in all it's glory (traitor!) while I try to remain calm curled up into a ball. This is one of those childhood fears that is supposed to go away, but for me it never did. I think because the second biggest thing I am afraid of it is fire. Why? because fire can kill people. I know, so can cars, but when you have a fear you tend to think irrationally. This is why I do not enjoy fireworks on the Fourth of July, or holding a burning firecracker or match in my hand. So back to the whole storm thing, lightning causes fire thus it is dangerous and not safe to be around (in my head). I understand that thunder cannot hurt you but being close enough to hear such noise must mean lightning (thus fire) is somewhere in the vicinity.

By now you are probably wondering what brought about this long post about my fear of thunderstorms. Well last Friday, July 9th, lightning struck right outside our home. Trey and I were home alone and Trey was eating a snack in the kitchen when the storm began. My brother called on the phone and I tried to have a decent conversation before saying I had to go because the wind was picking up and lightning can travel into things that are electrical, thus urging me to get off the phone way faster than I normally would have. I picked Trey up from his highchair while he clutched his sippy cup of milk. I was trying really hard not to project my fear of storms onto him, but it was getting really close and the wind was howling and the rain was pelting on the tin roof and I really did not know the best place to take the two of us to play and distract ourselves till the storm was over because there are windows in every room. So I stood holding Trey in the living room and a huge bolt of lightning (the closest in my life!) struck somewhere right outside of the window of the living room and the thunder came simultaneously and shook the whole house. I tightened my grip on my son and took him to the closet under the stairwell to wait until the storm was over. This may have been a bit over the top but I didn't know what to do. I was scared out of my mind that lightning was going to hit the house or a tornado was going to blow through the area (thus the hiding in the closet). Trey was very good this whole time. He let me hold him (I tried to stop shaking so he wouldn't sense my fear) and just drank his milk. If you laugh at the mental image of me holding Trey while he looks at my like I am crazy for standing in the closet and he is drinking his milk it is ok, I understand. Looking back it would have been funny to be a fly on the wall.

About ten minutes later the storm finally past and we came out of our hiding spot while I surveyed the situation. I tried to call Jay but the phones didn't work. I tried to turn on the tv to check the weather but the satellite was out. Why did the satellite dish and phones stop working? Because of the lightning strike (you know lightning, the thing I am afraid of). The lightning hit the satellite dish and came into the house through an electrical outlet and scorched the outlet, the phone cables, and the ac unit connected to said electrical outlet. That is why I have not been able to post for over a week on the blog or watched television at my house. Although I will say my blackberry saved me from going through complete facebook and email withdrawal.

Anyways, my fear of thunderstorms has been confirmed and I realized now it is not completely irrational (hello- lightning came into my house!). However this past morning we had a storm roll through and I kept my cool. I am not ridiculously afraid, just when they are a little too close for comfort.

Top 5

When people find out I am pregnant I get a variety of responses. Here are the top 5 in no particular order.

1. Wow! Already? (Yes, already, if not I would be lying to you)

2. How far apart will your children be? ( 21 months)

3. How are you feeling? (great, I don't get morning sickness, thank goodness!)

4. It will be crazy for a while at your house! (Yes we are aware of that. However, it will be our house not yours and we will love the craziness.)

5. Congratulations! I am excited for you! ( Thank you)

Now I may not say all the things I am thinking, especially about the craziness. However, how is it helpful for someone to tell me it will be tough having two kids under two? I am aware of this but I know God has blessed us with this little one and having siblings close in age can be a wonderful thing. Not that all comments are negative but sometimes I don't understand why people say things. Pregnant women only need to hear encouraging comments!

I feel about the same being pregnant with this baby as I did with Trey. I know everyone says every pregnancy is different, but so far my "symptoms" (not that this is a disease!) are the same. I had forgotten some things though. Here are the top 5 things I had forgotten about being pregnant.

1. The constant worry "Is my baby okay?" Once the baby is born you know they are okay just by looking at them, but when you cannot actually see the baby it is a little harder to reassure yourself everything is fine.

2. The heartburn and headaches! I don't get nauseous when I am pregnant, nor do I throw up. I am one of the lucky ones. I do get terrible heartburn, especially if I lay down right after I eat or sit in the car for a while. The old wives tale about heartburn means your baby has a full head of hair may be correct because Trey was born with a ton of hair!

3. The feeling of the baby move. Okay I didn't forget that it was an awesome feeling, but feeling it a second time around has been amazing! It is what I miss the most when I am not pregnant.

4. How easy it is to take care of this baby. When you are pregnant if you eat healthy, get plenty of rest, and exercise, your baby is taken care of. You don't have to change diapers, feed them, change their clothes, your body takes care of everything!

5. The end-between fat stage. That is where I am now. I am not pregnant enough for someone to think, "Oh she is pregnant!" Instead they just think, "Oh, she has put on some weight," or worse, "Did she not lose her baby weight yet?" But this time around I have decided to embrace my pregnant body. I may even take more than one belly picture during the whole pregnancy!

While during this pregnancy I am not reading every book, I don't always know exactly how many weeks and days pregnant I am, and I sometimes forget I am pregnant, I am very excited for January and the arrival of baby #2!

Maymont Park

During the weekend our family traveled to Richmond to visit my parents and my brothers' families. While Trey was not a fan of being picked up by his grandparents or aunts and uncles, he is a big fan of his cousins. See post below about being cranky due to cutting teeth to understand his lack of enthusiasm for adults other than his mommy and daddy. Above are some pictures of Trey and his cousins at Maymont Park in Richmond.

Molars Shmolars

During the weekend I had a bit of a reminder of life with a newborn. Trey was cutting his first two molars while we were gone on a trip to Richmond which equaled a lot of whining and very little sleep. He has slept through the night since last July with a slight regression during November and December when he cut his front top and bottom teeth. I forgot what it was like to wake up 30 minutes after you fall asleep to a crying child. I had forgotten the intense headache you wake up with after 3-4 hours of interrupted sleep all night. I forgot how long a day lasts when you wake up 5:30 with your child who is up for the day. I guess it was a good reminder of what I need to be prepared for come January. And to all those moms out there with a child under 3 months of age who gets up randomly all night long- you are amazing if you can still carry on a coherent conversation during the day time or take care of your child and I promise someday soon you may forget what that zombie feeling feels like.

Jay had also forgotten what it feels like to wake up in the middle of the night. At 2:07 am on Sunday I heard Trey crying in the baby monitor. I woke up wide awake. Here is the conversation that took place in our bedroom.

Me: Jay, Wake up Trey needs his medicine.

Jay: (lays there not moving at all)

Me: Jay, you need to go downstairs and get Trey's medicine.

Jay: (rolls over and mumbles something incoherent)

Me: (in Jay's face) I need your help. Trey is crying.

Jay: (looks up at me and blinks) What?

Me: I will go get Trey from the crib and I need you to go downstairs and get his medicine.

Jay: Please don't get mad at me I can't figure out what is going on.

Me: repeats request

Jay: (sits up but does not get out of bed).

Me: Go downstairs and get his medicine in the left side of the pantry.

And finally Jay gets up and follows through on the request. I found it quite hilarious he could tell I was getting frustrated before he was fully awake! I probably could have gone and gotten the medicine myself at that point and Trey would not have had to wait any longer that he did. However, we live in an old house in the middle of nowhere and I do not go downstairs by myself at night unless it is an EXTREME emergency.

Now that we are back home Trey has been so happy to see his crib and slept 13 1/2 hours last night to make up for the weekend. Since I had him I had also forgotten how good it feels to wake up at 8 am and have a quiet baby monitor. That happened this morning and I have been happy ever since :)